Gifts under rugby's trees
In a spirit of goodwill, SA Rugby takes a light-hearted look at what might be under a few Christmas trees this year! Merry Christmas!
Eben Etzebeth - A T-shirt with 'I'm a nice guy really' in big pink letters on the front, and on the back, a full-length colour portrait of himself adorned with a litter of adoring beagle puppies.
Pat Lambie - A fake ID
Heyneke Meyer - One injury-free card for 2013. Also a shatterproof walkie talkie. The Springbok coach has smashed quite a few of these communication devices while trying to issue instructions to his troops in 2012.
John Mitchell - A three-week anger management voucher at Coca-Cola Park.
Schalk Burger - Body armour, so he can try see out at least 10 minutes of 2013 on the rugby pitch.
Morne Steyn - A framed picture of Heyneke Meyer and himself when the former was coach of the Bulls, with the message: 'No hard feelings x'
Juan de Jongh - An invitation to perform as one of Justin Bieber's back-up dancers for the singer's upcoming tour to SA.
The Lions - New players, new sponsors, new tournament...
Juandre Kruger - French dictionary for his move to France
The Sharks - A pair of scissors to cut off their chokers tag.
IRB Player of the Year selection committee - A pair of binoculars will be the ideal gift for this panel, to help them pick a shortlist of the game's best players!
Nick Mallett - A job as a head coach as his rugby knowledge is currently going to waste as a television analyst.
Southern Kings - A calculator will be of great help for the newest team in the Super Rugby competition. It seems that the Port Elizabeth-based outfit is going to need that because their officials have already signed four foreign players when the South African Rugby Union only allows two per squad. They could also use it as some of their opponents are set to notch some cricket scores against them.