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9948 Topic: An all black joke or two
Beeno1

Status: Hall Of Fame
Posts: 11085
An all black joke or two
July 02, 2014, 13:11:45

Traveling in a train were a Wallaby, an All Black, a spectacular looking blonde and an older lady. After several minutes of the trip, the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the Wallaby had a big red slap mark on his cheek.


(1) The blonde thought - "That horrible Wallaby wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the lady, who in turn must have slapped his face."


(2) The older lady thought - "This dirty Wallaby laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him."


(3) The Wallaby thought - "That bloody All Black put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me."


(4) The All Black thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that stupid Wallaby again."


Beeno1

Status: Hall Of Fame
Posts: 11085
RE: An all black joke or two
July 02, 2014, 13:13:46
 The family of Auckland Blues Rugby supporters head out shopping one Saturday before Christmas.

While in a sport shop, the son picks up a Crusaders rugby jersey and says to his sister, "I've decided I'm going to be a Crusaders supporter and I'd like this jersey for Christmas!"

The sister is outraged at this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother."

Off goes the little lad, with Crusaders jersey in hand and finds his mother. 
"Mum," "Yes, son ?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Crusaders supporter and I'd like this jersey for Christmas."

The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your father."

Off he goes with the Crusaders jersey in hand and finds his father. "Dad?" "Yes, son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Crusaders supporter and I would like this jersey for Christmas."

The father is outraged at this, promptly whacks his son round the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later, they are all back in the car heading home. The father turns to the son and says, "Son, I hope you've learned an important lesson today?" The son turns to his father and says, "Yes, Father, I have." Father says, "Good son, and what is it?"

The son replies "I've only been a Crusaders supporter for an hour and already I hate you Auckland bastards!!!"


Beeno1

Status: Hall Of Fame
Posts: 11085
RE: An all black joke or two
July 02, 2014, 13:15:17
 Clive Woodward (coach of the English rugby team) and John Mitchell (coach of the New Zealand rugby team) both die and enter the Pearly Gates. God takes Clive on a tour of heaven and ends up at a little two-bedroom bungalow with a faded English rugby banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, Clive," says God, "You're very lucky. Most people don't get their own houses up here, you know." Clive looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the huge mansion on top of the hill. A massive, multi-storey affair with white marble columns, balconies and attractive gardens, All Black banners line both sides of the footpath and a huge New Zealand flag hangs between the marble columns. "Thanks for the house, God," says Clive, "But let me ask you a question. How come I get this little two-bedroom bungalow and John Mitchell gets a huge mansion with all those marble columns and things." God looks at him seriously for a moment. "That's not Mitchell's house," God says. "That's my house."


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