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7847 Topic: What it means to be Kiwi.....
Cloudy

Status: Senior player
Posts: 3194
What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 21, 2014, 02:08:07

It’s pretty hard to sum up a national identity in a single blog entry, but here goes.

 


When you hear ‘kiwi,’ a fruit is not the first thing which comes to mind.

You think either of: a small, flightless bird, which is native to New Zealand, and something of a symbol of the country; or the nationality of those people from that little bunch of islands known as New Zealand, or Aotearoa in the Maori vernacular.

The other stuff is called kiwifruit in New Zealand, which makes it kind of funny for us (or me, at least) when foreigners come along and talk about kiwis (fruit) and kiwibirds.

 


You love eNZed.

You have a strong affection for New Zealand, and think that it is the best country in the world.  Kiwis aren’t renowned for being in-your-face or too noisy, but you can probably get us talking for hours about our homeland!  Plus, there are plenty of Kiwis out there with NZ tattoos and t-shirts, and you’ll find plenty of discussion about NZ on social networking sites (despite the fact that there aren’t really that many of us).

 


You talk with a but of an accint.

New Zealanders have their own accent and, contrary to popular belief, it is actually different to the Australian one.  Most Kiwis have probably been teased about their accent by foreigners, at some point.  Especially when they said words containing an ‘e.’  For example, when I came to France to work as an Assistant English Teacher, I told the classes that my brother was called Ben.  They looked really confused, until I wrote it on the board.  They’d heard ‘Bin.’  An English teacher couldn’t work out what I was saying to the students when I said ‘in the tixt (text).’  If you’re to believe the Australians, we say ‘fush and chups.’
But we also have some words of our own or, at least, that many other Anglophones don’t understand.  So, if you’re a Kiwi, you know that jandals are sweet as, you're not bemused if you're asked to bring a plate, understand if you hear that Rangi pashed Kate, and think to take your togs and a chilly bin if you’re heading to the bach.

You can find more Kiwi expressions here.


You have some knowledge of Maori culture.

You may be Maori, speak te reo (the language) fluently, be au fait with all of the tikanga (customs and traditions) on the marae (meeting place), and be active within your iwi (tribe).  However, maybe you have just taken part in a few powhiri (welcome ceremonies) at school and know how to sing Titira Mai Nga Iwi, or the national anthem in Maori.  Hopefully, you understand a few of the Maori words which commonly crop up, even if you can’t pronounce them properly.  That way you can say kia ora (hello) to your mates, have a kai (feed/food) with your whanau (family), and everything will be ka pai (good).  As long as you don’t wear your shoes inside the buildings on a marae, or sit on any tables.

 


You have that typical Kiwi character.

DISCLAIMER: All of this is a generalisation.
If you’re a good Kiwi bloke, you’re a tough [removed].  Like Buck Shelford.  I’ll leave NZ comedian, Mike King, to explain that one.  You are not metro[removed]ual.  Also, you can turn your hand to fixing anything.  If you’re a Kiwi chick, you’re quite possibly a bit masculine, (NOT EVEN eeaa) in your mode of expression, if nothing else.  You don’t expect men to do everything for you.  No matter what gender you are, you’re probably fairly laid back; you don’t whinge (complain), you just get on with it; you’re not as assertive or vocal as people from other nations; and you’ll give anything a go once.  Plus, apparently, you have a reputation overseas for being hard-working.  Sweet.

 


You like rugby.

In fact, it's a little bit like a religion.  NZ is the country of the All Blacks, after all.  You grew up with Dad watching the match (or several) on the weekend.  You probably played rugby throughout school, and after.  Well, that’s more likely if you’re a boy, but there are more and more rugby-playing girls out there too.  It makes perfect sense for the bars to be packed on game night.  And, of course the whole country will be in mourning the following day if the ABs lose.  They’ll be whinging, too.  I know, I said that Kiwis didn’t complain much, but complaining about the performance of sports teams is perfectly acceptable.
Just a sidenote: we do other sports, too.  We’re pretty decent at netball, rowing, and sailing, and we’ll have a go at any sport!

 


You love Kiwi tucker.

Everyone knows that you’ll always be a Kiwi if you love our Watties (tomato) sauce, and that Marmite (yeast spread) is what makes Kiwis Kiwis.  You go round to your friends’ place for a BBQ, or maybe a boil-up, and a real meal has gotta have meat.  Come summer, hokey pokey ice-cream is a favourite, and the famous pavlova (fruit-topped meringue) is sure to make an appearance. 

At some point in your life, you’ve munched on a hangi (food cooked by steam from hot rocks, a traditional Maori method).  If you need to bake ANZAC biscuits (with golden syrup and oats), you turn to the infallible Edmonds cookbook.  Plus, you have eaten either: Bluff Oysters, paua (abalone), or whitebait fritters.  Also, if you go to get a meat pie late at night, you always blow on the pie. 


You’re familiar with the Kiwi lifestyle and attitudes.

You can competently discuss the current storylines on Shortland St and Outrageous Fortune, two of NZ’s favourite soaps.  You think Jim Hickey is the best tv weather man ever.  If the Prime Minister of your country opens a new school, you don’t think it’s at all strange.

On meeting any New Zealander, you can find a mutual friend within twenty minutes of conversation.  It’s only two degrees of separation in our country!  When you set up your internet, you accept comparatively slow internet and a data limit.  You’re only mildly annoyed at having to slow to 50km when you go through small towns on state highways.  Lastly, you don’t really need shoes, and you think stubbies are fashionable.

 


You make fun of Australia.

New Zealand and Australia have a kind of sibling rivalry.  If you’re a Kiwi, you have been on the receiving end of enough ‘sheep-shagger’ jokes made by Australians to start fighting back, normally with jokes about the Aussies’ intelligence, or a simple ‘bloody Aussies.’  You will never, ever, forgive them for the unsporting 1981 underarm bowling incident which prevented NZ from winning.  While you support the All Blacks and any other NZ team first, your second choice is anyone playing against Australia.

However, should you find an Aussie when you’re travelling overseas, after a ritual exchange where each one pokes fun at the other, you’ll probably become friends.  After all, they are the next best thing to a fellow Kiwi!




Cloudy

Status: Senior player
Posts: 3194
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 21, 2014, 02:13:09
Beeno please pay particular attention to the 'Kiwi tucker' :D


nukefreekiwi

Status: Squad member
Posts: 441
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 21, 2014, 03:53:06
 ANZAC bikkies and a pot of tea. Yum! 


redsman

Status: Bok regular
Posts: 932
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 21, 2014, 04:51:40

Reasonably accurate with the addition:

 

(particularly the ones of Anglo / Celtic descent) get ridiculously rude and bossy and self-obsessed as they enter their 40s and beyond... especially the ones that live in SE Qld and work in semi-professional roles trying to claw their way up the corporate ladder -

 

eg Bank managers / Real Estate agents / Office workers.... I have encountered WAY too many for this to be an anomaly to the population.......... ;) 

 

 


Cloudy

Status: Senior player
Posts: 3194
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 21, 2014, 06:13:52
It's because Aussies are far too lazy and of course the bogan ones just suck your economy dry .....Byron Bay is a classic example ;) 


Cloudy

Status: Senior player
Posts: 3194
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 21, 2014, 06:16:03
Nukefreekiwi what about Afghan biscuits or Shrewsbury or Mallowpuffs or Krispies .....now dem REAL kiwi biscuits lol 


Rugganut

Status: Baby Bok
Posts: 183
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 21, 2014, 07:30:23
 It also means

  1. Being absolutely blind when the AB's are cheating.
  2. Calling everyone 'Bro' when they have not relation to you what so ever.
  3. Having more of your countries population living outside of the country than in it.
  4. The most common serious offence is for [removed]ual assault.
  5. Imprisons people at a rate second only to the USA.
  6. New Zealand prisoners were this month limited to three pieces of fruit a day after riots caused by drunkenness from fermented fruit.


nukefreekiwi

Status: Squad member
Posts: 441
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 21, 2014, 07:44:59
Well, since we're using incidences of [removed]ual violence to inflate our egos in the absence of a team capable of competing with the mighty All Blacks...........


According to the report by the United Nations Office on Crimes and Drugs for the period 1998–2000, South Africa was ranked first for rapes per capita.[3] In 1998, one in three of the 4,000 women questioned in Johannesburg was raped, according to Community Information, Empowerment and Transparency (CIET) Africa.[4] While women's groups in South Africa estimate that a woman is raped every 26 seconds, the South African police estimates that a woman is raped every 36 seconds.[5]

The Criminal Law ([removed]ual Offences and Related Matters) Amendment Act, 2007 is the relevant legislation in South Africa. Despite the fact that this act provides modern and progressive laws, that ban rape and other forms of [removed]ual abuse, including [removed]ual violence within marriage, South Africa remains a country where [removed]ual attacks are common. The country has some of the highest incidences of child and baby rape in the world with more than 67,000 cases of rape and [removed]ual assaults against children reported in 2000, with welfare groups believing that unreported incidents could be up to 10 times higher.[120] In 2001, a 9-month-old was raped and likely lost consciousness as the pain was too much to bear.[121] Another 9-month-old baby was raped by six men, aged between 24 and 66, after the infant had been left unattended by her teenage mother. A 4-year-old girl died after being raped by her father. A 14-month-old girl was raped by her two uncles. In February 2002, an 8-month-old infant was reportedly gang raped by four men. One has been charged. The infant has required extensive reconstructive surgery. The 8-month-old infant's injuries were so extensive, increased attention on prosecution has occurred.[122] A significant contributing factor for the escalation in child abuse is the widespread myth in HIV-ravaged South Africa that having [removed] with a virgin will cure a man of AIDS.[123][124] According to official figures, circa 11% of South Africans are infected with the virus.[125] Edith Kriel, a social worker who helps child victims in the Eastern Cape, said: "Child abusers are often relatives of their victims – even their fathers and providers."[123]

One in three of the 4,000 women questioned by the Community of Information, Empowerment and Transparency said they had been raped in the past year.[126] More than 25% of South African men questioned in a survey admitted to raping someone; of those, nearly half said they had raped more than one person, according to a new study conducted by the Medical Research Council (MRC).[127][128] A 2010 study led by the government-funded Medical Research Foundation says that in Gauteng province, more than 37 percent of men said they had raped a woman. Nearly 7 percent of the 487 men surveyed said they had participated in a gang rape.[129] Among children, a survey found 11% of boys and 4% of girls admitted to forcing someone else to have [removed] with them while in another survey among 1,500 schoolchildren in the Soweto township, a quarter of all the boys interviewed said that 'jackrolling', a term for gang rape, was fun.[120][126]

In 2013 a study of 1991 grade nine boys at 46 secondary schools in Cape Town and Port Elizabeth found that 17.2% had raped.[130]

South Africa has some of the highest incidences of child and baby rape in the world.[120] More than 25% of a sample of 1,738 South African men from the KwaZulu-Natal and Eastern Cape Provinces admitted when anonymously questioned to raping someone; of those, nearly half said they had raped more than one person, according to a non-peer reviewed policy brief issued by the Medical Research Council (MRC). 4.95% had raped or attempted rape in the past year at the time of the survey.[131] Several news publications extrapolated these results to the rest of the South African population.[132][133][134] The humanitarian news organization IRIN claims that an estimated 500,000 rapes are committed annually in South Africa.[134]

According to University of Durban-Westville anthropology lecturer and researcher Suzanne Leclerc-Madlala, the myth that [removed] with a virgin is a cure for AIDS is not confined to South Africa. "Fellow AIDS researchers in ZambiaZimbabwe and Nigeria have told me that the myth also exists in these countries and that it is being blamed for the high rate of [removed]ual abuse against young children."[135]

"In South Africa, rape is so common it barely makes the news. The rapes of elderly women and babies are outlined in four-line stories on the inside pages of local newspapers, but most [removed]ual assaults get no public attention."[136]

"The country has one of the highest rates of rape in the world, with some 65,000 rapes and other [removed]ual assaults reported for the year ending in March 2012, or 127.6 per 100,000 people in the country."[136]



Cloudy

Status: Senior player
Posts: 3194
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 21, 2014, 10:39:14
Nice one nuke :)


DbDraad

Status: Bok regular
Posts: 1047
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 21, 2014, 11:34:15
 No, unfortunately it's not nice, and the list should be a lot longer, that is the tragic reality of the new South Africa. We have a first world population, and a third world population. Most of the saffas on the internet are part of the first world and live relatively safe lives compared to the 3rd world populace. We need government with a firm hand to get us up to speed, but sadly the corruption is killing off any possibility of that. 

Anyway, Cloudy, nice post. I think, if you leave rugby out of the equation, your general Saffa will get along very well with most Kiwi's. I see a lot of things we share on your lists, some a bit different, but similar. 
 "paua (abalone)" we call it perlemoen over here, but due to excessive poaching (for the eastern markets, same as the rhino's BTW), we are not allowed to harvest them any more. You can now only buy them at a couple of hatcheries at ludicrous prices. Luckily we are still allowed a small quota of crayfish and other seafood during season.


Cloudy

Status: Senior player
Posts: 3194
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 21, 2014, 14:08:04
Thanks draad it was just a bit of fun, only a few more weeks and it's down to the serious business again.  It's crazy but nearly everything that moves and doesn't move in the ocean, is on quota and there are heavy fines for those who take more than their share.  When I was a kid we used to dig for toheroas (like an over-sized clam), when the beds became low the season was reduced to two weeks, then it was stopped all together and if you get caught taking them these days, it's a jail term.  So I wonder where those toheroas are going?  Probably the government exporting them so who are the greedy ones?  Makes you wonder.


Rugganut

Status: Baby Bok
Posts: 183
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 22, 2014, 00:56:31
 Cloudy 'half brain'. You wrote as the header says "what it means to be Kiwi " on SA Rugby. Now deal with what it means to be Kiwi. Typical brain dead fool, as soon as there is any criticism your defense is to attack South Africans.

Reminds me of a conversation i had with a Chinese person some time ago when i stated that China has 12 of the most polluted rivers in the top 20. The reply and defense was 'oh well the Thames River is polluted too'.


Cloudy

Status: Senior player
Posts: 3194
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 22, 2014, 06:07:07
I said it was a light-hearted post why so mad rugganut?  Maybe you need to check your brain cells before calling mine dead lol .....oh and the Thames River is polluted and I'm pretty sure if you look hard enough you will find a few of your rivers the same.......check them out and then go cry you one :D


Wardad

Status: Bok regular
Posts: 1373
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 22, 2014, 09:34:52
 Poor wee bugga-4-nought ,looks like NFK shot him down in flames ! Nice one cloudy ! I dont know about the Marmite but as a kid I used to love going to visit the rellies at Maketu mainly cos of the beach eh ? ! 


Crusaders#1

Status: Baby Bok
Posts: 176
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 22, 2014, 11:26:37
 Howz it cloudy...awesome article ...marmite my favourite it's funny...when the marmite factory closed down after the earthquake ...and there was a WORLDWIDE shortage...my family back home couldn't get any...I still had marmite all the way here in Perth hahaha...friends were posting jars they found in the bottom of there cuboards...cause my boy would ony eat marmite on his toast for breakfast hahaha...lucky for me
Anyway hope the whanau is well...can't wait forS15 to start!


Crusaders#1

Status: Baby Bok
Posts: 176
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 22, 2014, 11:29:25
 Watzup with you and wardads avatars...???


Cloudy

Status: Senior player
Posts: 3194
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 22, 2014, 12:23:57
How are you cruze......how's the whanau?  yep cant wait for the real stuff the Blues play the Canes feb 1 then the Tahs the following week pre-season, really excited for the boys this year Kaino back and hungry for his black jersey and Benji......gonna be good!!

dunno about wardad's avatar lol but she's my favourite kiwi actress.......are you missing Angie's guns too lol


Crusaders#1

Status: Baby Bok
Posts: 176
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 22, 2014, 14:33:51
 Awesome thanks cloudy ...you goin to watch the blues play...interested to see how Benji goes...well I hope!...Kaino will miss a few weeks still in Japan...but I expect him to come back and make an impact...
saders better start stronger this year...this slow starting has been pissing me off the last couple of seasons ...


sasuke uchiha

Status: Rugby Legend
Posts: 5824
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 22, 2014, 15:32:12
just ignore rugganaut my kiwi peeps, hes one of the dumbest big mouth poo stains in the sarugby.com business.

check out this link and u will understand why ruggnaut has such a chip on his shoulder when it comes to kiwis.

warning, bring some tissues and a change of pants, cos ur gonna cry with laughter while pissing ur pants, lolz

stupid stupid rugganut

funny thing is ruggnaut disappeared for quite a while after this, no doubt so that he could lick his wounds.
glad hes recovered though, it wont take long before he runs his mouth again and gets another kiwi [removed] slap to match the one NZ rugby gives him every single time.


Cloudy

Status: Senior player
Posts: 3194
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 22, 2014, 15:45:50
Oh another good post naru....that one will probably kill off the other half of my brain cells :D:D:D 


Just_win

Status: Rugby Legend
Posts: 5731
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 22, 2014, 19:29:56
Ahh, marmite. I have managed to find it wherever I have lived - even in Poland, lol


blobbok

Status: Bok regular
Posts: 622
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 22, 2014, 20:15:41
 Cloudy, you look simply outstanding this morning <3


Rugganut

Status: Baby Bok
Posts: 183
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 23, 2014, 04:07:56
 Only nation in the world to pick a team based on race. Welcome to the New Zealand Maori's. Looks like Marmite to me.


Wardad

Status: Bok regular
Posts: 1373
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 23, 2014, 07:54:38
 your bait is old and stinky looks like it should go back between ya boyfriends teef ....he looks the jealous type too !  [ not that theres anything wrong with that as Seinfeld would say ...!!!]


Cloudy

Status: Senior player
Posts: 3194
RE: What it means to be Kiwi.....
January 23, 2014, 10:09:30
Are you sure about that rugganut?

Thank you blobbok so do you :)
 


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